*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1:God,I can only imagine what was going through those kids heads in the last moments of their lives... Person 2:Probably Bullets Person 1:OMG!!Can you even think of what their parents are going through?! Person 2:Probably Coffin Brochures Person 1:.... Person 2:Its called dark humor.Dark humor is like food,not everyone gets it.
So little johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!
If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?
Little johnny smiled and said: A bus driver!
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in".
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life. I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
Did you hear about the dead artist
Too many strokes
You want to hear a joke about pizza? Sorry! Can't tell ya, it's too cheesy!
hears a clean joke my horse got mudy so i gave him a bubble bath know hears a dirty joke bubles is the horse next door
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible....But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world; it only had one dog in it. It was a Shitzu."
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents? My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that son.
did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home? wait a minute! what am i talking about?
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!
why cant you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
because tye "p"is silent
Did you hear about the Boston marathon cause well I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away
Did you hear about the man that got fired from is can job? It was soda-pressing
WANNA HEAR A FUNNY JOKE: JOHNS LIFE
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them.
It took my sole
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail? There is a small medium at large. (Pause For Laughter)
Hellen Keller once said, ̈love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel ̈ but of course she said it like this ̈fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb ̈
