Hearing jokes
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.
Wanna hear a joke?
Look in the mirror; I'm sure you'll find one there :')
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?
He was a great veterinarian.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?
It's ok, he didn't either!
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
Did you hear about the Mexican emo band? They're called "Hispanic at the Disco."
I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
These are bee puns.🐝
I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝
I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝
(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.
"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit." "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife." "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk...!!!!"
Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies.
Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive.
Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out.
Wanna hear something that's the worst? He comes back for seconds.
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
Did you hear about the racist sprinkler?
It kept going: "Spick spick spick Chink chink chink!"
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.