Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
Did you hear about the orphan that tried to high five a tree it left her hanging
Wanna hear a Joke? Just look in the mirror the Jokes there?
wanna hear a joke ? no IM already looking at one
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
Wanna hear a joke...
I don't know, I'm too high.
"Me tells dad joke often."
"I want to hear it."
"Me? You wouldn't get it."
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
did you hear about the baseball game between america and ethiopia? America - 8 Ethiopia - didn't
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?
It rocked!
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
