Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that. But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
have you ever heard of Jane Doe? well, her husband's name is Dill, so I guess that makes him a dildo!!!
i heard world war 500000 in my parents
So one day, I took a trip to Russia, and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any body guards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days. After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I had said yes, and the officer said god help us. So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent, and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said. I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy. He said we did, and that we were extremely drunk.
Please read all of it I know it's long please read all of it.
This dad heard his daughter praying as she was praying she came to an end: " Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died the dad thought it was just coincidence so he carried on his day. At night he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. After he heard goodbye grandma his facial expression changed and went straight to bed. The next morning the grandma died out of nowhere the dad began to worry and continued on his day, at night he heard his daughter again " Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad got scared so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there so that's what he did. When he got home the next day his wife asked where he had been and he replied back " Sorry honey I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: " OH YOU THINK YOU HAD A BAD THE MAILMAN JUST DIED ON THE FRONTPORCH THIS MORNING" If you get it you get it.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I will always rember my dads last words.. Oh wait i've never heard them
Have you heard about the tanning Olimpics? Everyone wanted bronze (this is a lil cringe)
Every heard of candies? Candies balls fit in your mouth
Have you heard the saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying. Not so great way to find out you are adopted
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart? He heard that little boy's pants were half off
Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming
This whole string is really messed up. Yall should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said "HES ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALA"
:bully: my mom says im not allowed to burn trash :me: (quiet) :bully: HEY IM TALKING TO YOU :me: are you talking to yourself? because i was listening to music until i heard you
Do you think when Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like Donald Duck?
"Have You Ever Heard Of The Snail That Never Gives Charity?" "Yeah, He Is So Shellfish!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
ever heard of rape jokes? no? well, i'll MAKE you hear em!
One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house. I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games." Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.
