Heard jokes

I heard that Uranus is pronounced "yuuranus," but it reminded me of urine! 😆

Have y'all ever heard of dad jokes? Y'all hairline is funnier than those.

Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.

Hiii everyone, I heard from many people that they want to join the "stop orphan jokes" group. Who wants to?

I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.

Have you heard the joke about the paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

I get paid more than $200 to $400 per hour for working online. I heard about this job 3 months ago, and after joining this, I have earned easily $30k from this without having online working skills. Simply give it a shot on the accompanying site...

Here is I started.............>> fixpay1.blogspot.com

Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?

Because they heard the drinks were on the house!

What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.

I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.

Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?

Because he heard the bars were high.

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.

"Do you have a noose?"

"Nose?"

"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

"No."

*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.

Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.

Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.

Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.

Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.

Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!

Have you ever heard of sex? Because you just got fucked.

Have you ever heard of hearing aids?

Yeah, me neither.

I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.