Heard

Heard Jokes

I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest so i went as a plane, it didn't fly to well with people.

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The USA guaranteeing freedom of speech is the biggest joke I've heard...

Tell that to the people who were almost killed because their cars had "NASCAR Sucks" and "Country and Western is rubbish" on them!

one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate' "

9

A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, 'Well I have good news and bad news.' The woman says, 'I'll hear the good news first please.' The doctor replies 'The good news is we're naming a disease after you!'

two lesbians adopted a cat that night the cat ran away why ?

because it heard one say i'm gonna eat that pussy

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