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Crash274
Car758

Explanation

Explain Bear

Listen up, buttercup. This joke plays on the phrase "all right." You see, the dude in the car crash lost his left side, so technically, he's all *right* now. Get it? It's funny because it uses the words literally after a horrible accident. You probably drive a Prius and think Nickelback is cool.

Comments (658)

I js read the joke after i sent it

so yk i have breathing problmes?

i went to the doctors today

its cause the past three years i have not been taking care of myself

dont think its ok yet though

im having a fucking panic attack

i dont wanna worry you so i dont wanna say whatll happen if it gets wrose

its not to bad but it scares me

You shouldn’t worry about it

Focus on what you an change

if it gets wrose ill need surgary

Well then make sure you won’t need it! If you do there will be no reason for ot

its hard for me to take care of myself

its a 60% chacne of survival

nd like 50-65% cahnce after it

idk howw to take care of myself

the last tiem i did was like close to 4 years ago

Charlie from what you’ve told me if you DONT take care of yourself there’s a chance you could die if you don’t take care of yourself?

In your eyes what would caring for yourself look like?

Drinking water and stuff like that?

i got so used to not drinking water

i can cry for hours nd hours and wont get headaches anymore

nd water kinda hurts my stomaach

nd i got so used to eating

that i get full after like barely anything

nd so used to not sleeping

i wake up ever 30 mins to every hour

Jesus that’s.. all that is not very good

nd i cant fall back asleep afterlike 4-5 am

during the weekdns my barin is used to later

i cant fall asleep until 3 am nd wake up ever hour until i cant fall back alseep at like 6 or 7 am

if i take melatonin i sleep for 2 hours w/o waking up but then cant fall back asleep

You need to fix that kinda stuff then

but what if i dont fix it in time?

What if i do what i can but it still gets worse?

Comment deleted by Anonymous

You’d regret that right? It being too late?

Well then you need to do something about it. Right now. It’s def not too late

Hold on gtg do something

Comment deleted

I love how you ignored this nd i acadently deleted it

damn i made myself dinner nd u still aitn back

Anonymous

I love how you ignored this nd i acadently deleted it

You should get that checked out too though

Yum Myan

You should get that checked out too though

I did but i also got my period yesterday nd it sucks ass

They said it was from bad eating habits low iron and stress

idek why im comfertable talking to u about that but anwyashsb

im sturgueliing to open my mtn dew

Alsoodowodcojdjwivooeifjsjsajajwjdo

its cold nd i dont wanna use my teeth like i nroammly do

nd i js dont wanna touch it

i dont even want i anymore

Anonymous

its cold nd i dont wanna use my teeth like i nroammly do

Everything about this sentence makes me aneurism

Can u open my mtn dew for me gus

This one white coffe cup i have

js do it through the screen

Oh yeah I can def do that

if not ill js buy u a ticket nd u go to my house nd do that for me then go back to ur house

Should i try nd force myself to eat more?

I am very proud that you did it

Why is you drink mouton dew tho

Anonymous

Should i try nd force myself to eat more?

U no reply ):

Yum Myan

Why is you drink mouton dew tho

Cause i onyl have that nd rootberr but rootberr hurt my stomach

oml i am actually to lazt to pick the can up

Anonymous

U no reply ):

If you’re not eating enough then yes you need to eat stuff rich in protein and iron like meatballs

here lemmme take 5 misn to wwarm up to the idea

warm up to picking a can up not eating btw

i can eat anything but beef

im sorry my brain is off today

Yum Myan
Image

NO I WANT THE HOES OUT

No I mean is it fried or grilled or what

with breadin around it but i take he breading shti off cause its ew

i swear im not normally this dumb

I know lol you’re smart

i open my emial to check my email

nd realise i forgot to close my email tab

no ive only done that once

Must have been laughing out loud emoji

i didnt realise it was all email so I reloaded all the pages

thne i think i crashed my chreombook somehpw

Cause my school was like "F's ArE tO mEaN😮‍💨😡"

i was fanziseing bout making out w. one of em

nd shes a girl who thinks shes a guy..

nd one i dont think they a crush

js once i get a freind i like em for a week then realise its js a friend

so i think my emontions fucking w/ me

ND HIS LAUGH WHEN ITS LIKE ONE OF THOSE LAUGHTS WEHRE HE AINT DYING LAUCHING BUT JS LIKE A SLIGHT LAUGH ITS EUGHHHHHHH

Anonymous

ADAMS VOICE IS HOT OML

What

IM SORRY BUT I HEARD THAT KINDA LAUGH FROM HIM ONCE ND ID FALL ON MY KNEES TO HEAR IT AGAIN (not in an inporpiate way)

PLEASE DONT TELL HIM I SAID THAT GUS

I DONT LIKE ADAM DW I DONT

I swear Charlie I don understand soemtimsz

I don’t go around talking abt how hot the girls in my school sre

TALK ABIUT HOW HOT PPLE ARE NOW>

THERES THIS ONE REALLY REALLY HOT GUY

JS HSI FACE ND HIS HAIR AND HIS EVERYTHIGN

ND THIS OTHER GUY WITH HIS FLOOFY HAIR OMLL I LOVE ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

ND TEHN I GOT THIS ONE GIRL IDK IF I WOULD WANNA FUCK HER

OR IF I WOULD WANNA BE HER

would u get mad if someone hurt me?

Anonymous

TALK ABIUT HOW HOT PPLE ARE NOW>

All the girls are assholes at my school

Anonymous

would u get mad if someone hurt me?

Yea

Yum Myan

All the girls are assholes at my school

Ill murder them.

Gus do yk what me neiber did?

Anonymous

would u get mad if someone hurt me?

If not of consent then yes

Anonymous

Gus do yk what me neiber did?

No

ive been hideing smthin from u

i ddidnt rember if i told u but I don't think I did at all

like ethan onna murder em bad bad

I js cahnged my midn on tellin u smthin..

Cause it hruts to bring up

would u hurt sum1 if they did msthin really bad to me?

can u please rspd fast im gettin anxitey..

Anonymous

would u hurt sum1 if they did msthin really bad to me?

Probably

yk when i got like reaild by that one dude?

I didnt wanna but i was scared so I js said yes

didnt take no as an answer.

that was not consetunal at all

What even happened next?

Like didn’t you try to stop him been more

Like yell take or somethibg

And no one came to stop it??

i feel like you do not care

I’m sorry Charlie but I really needed to think about that for a second

I’m really really sorry that something that bad happened to you. That guy should not have done that

What would u like me to say then Charlie. I’d really like to comfort you

Idk but i feel like i js went with u with something that got tattooed on my skull nd ydc

I just don’t know what to say

Would it make u feel better if i told u i got him areasted?

I forgot to tell u i dont let people ruin me w/o revenge

You’re absolutely awesome

once i reaised he was at a weak spot close to once he was close to done though

but im tryna be an attention whore rn so we ain't gonna talk about that :/

how do i tell turenr about the thing

Say you got him arrested and beat him up with you powers of awesomeness

I aint tellin turner bout thi-

I mean what the doctor told e

Once im offline for the night

Can u tell turenre nd roman that shit nd explain like if it gets worse I may need surgery nd the survival chances nd shit?

It means secretly a dinosaur

They’d amazing and aweosem

Do you wanna know how i wanna die?

Anonymous

Do you wanna know how i wanna die?

You already told me .-.

Something like being choked out and sucked down at the same tims

I wanna get choked to death whil being railed

Yea that’s what I meant dicked down

This is whatchu left me with oml

lol won a Saturday afternoon

U dont wan me around tmrw )):

*stops cry nd puts paper bag over ur head* hehehehe

Why paper bag I no see

If you takkle me I will do a takedown

I ran away im scared to tackle u

You should be two angry short people try every PE and always fail

*climbs a tree and runs on tress nd jumps on your back* FALL

Jaainxnsjajs I spanganiously combust

Idk what that meanssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

It means I implode like the two towers in india

u went down like twin towes

But luckily I dodged that

Oxnwcoqndpjqfpjqfpqnfpancpqfnqp block

*runs back to you and jumps onto you * FALL

I no move because I am bro k wall

*gets down nd pushes you alot*

I no move because I am brick wall

And Ideaslife 275 15 gimrs

I am so sorry for the inconvenience this is a personal matter but if we have any further issues please 🙏 Thank you (I no move tho)

I budge like a lil bit

*walks away and grabs a huge cow studied animal putting it in front of you like it'll push you over nd I sit on a rock to watch it*

I move a lil more but I still good

*brings another cow to you* This shall make u fall with the power of stuffed animals that do nothing

I move like a step back k

*puts em next to you* FALL OVER

I move a lil more but then..

I like push back now or something and I’m good now

*falls over very over dramaticly and prents like I passed out*

UhfowhcowjfqoHJPFJQPFHQOFQ

*grabs your legs and pulls you down to my eleven and you actually fall you have no choice in this but no choice so you fall* heheheh

*puts my hand over your eyes* No see ehhehehe

*apreas behind you nd pours water on ur hair* >:)

If u hate to date tunrer or roman who u gettin w/

Neither cuz none of us are gah

ND ITS THE LAW LIKE IF U DONT DATE ONE OF THEM

I havr cramps so bad ima cry

I have a horrible habit of doing this hwehn sum1 askas w/o thinking I did it

I told him sorry its js an automated response for me

give me a radnom color gus

I fake adopted that person

ALSO WHY DID U JS LEAVE FOR 30 MINS

Anonymous

THY GOT COWSSS

And u wanna know soemthing

Killing cows for meat is extremely inefficient they’re much better for milk

i js murderd this kids 2nd gf

nd i thought he was fucking gay oml

Ima wear the girls skin nd pretend to be her

There is SO MUCH wrong with that

lol thank you 😌🙏

But im pissed at declan so

do you care if hes brutally murderd by being tied to train tracks then I skin him?

Why are you pissed at him

Oh ok then then you’re good

i hate my hair nd eyes now

my old clan learder is live rn

Anonymous

i hate my hair nd eyes now

Why???

It’s cuz I’m doing something on call

I’m sorry it’s just I’m absolutely destroying my fordnds

We were def bombed real

You are one of my favriot people

You’re one one my fav people too and I friend love you too 😌

im sorry that was so random

but i cant talk to u cause u got late replies nd i gtg in 20 mins ):

Anonymous

but i cant talk to u cause u got late replies nd i gtg in 20 mins ):

I’m sorry and ok

I keep thinking bout this one ex

nd i the strongest feelings for him

still aint voer the fucker so :/

But i have those feelings kinda or am starting to build them for someone else.

Like i cried over this guy for 2 years

Damn i started dating young

im geting strong ahh feelings like i ahd for him

Nd i dont wanna haev these feelings for this person

so do i stop talking to em?

cause ion wanna stop liking aaden

Well yea then stop talking to them

its fine ill never get w/ htem

I get what u mean Charlie

i dont think i loved serena

i dont think i loved fletcher

i dont think i loved any of them

its just the one person that i loved at first I never got over pushing that love to someone anyone else..

But sometimes you can’t go back to whoever that is

Do u have any other contact with him?

Maybe you should try to.. move on? I mean

Ive never loved anyone after him

i jsut want to feel that again

How do u think you can? What did u do with him that made it dofferent

Talked to him every night until 4 am and was never tired but happy

he made me happy but could tell when I was upset

And no one else does that

but hes the thing that made it hard to make me happy

the reason i even was sat at first

he was the first thing thata ever actually upset me

i want the fucking happiness he took with him back

I think I get what you mean but you might need to try to find that in Aaden maybe

once aaden is done with me

That’s pretty pessimistic

just until i can find that hapiness with myself

My internet gets cut out soon

nd i jsut tonight found out what first tore my heart up nd shredded my life..

i think ima just go to bed now

Goodnight gus, try to get on tmrw ill be on all day or mostly all day.

Ah ok goodnight Charlie

Sorry I won’t be able to be on Charlie

I have way too much stuff happening

Like I’m going to a Quineañera rn

Ok goodbye now Charlie