Health jokes

Q: Why are medication pills white?

A: Because they work.

Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?

A: He got caught drinking on the job.

Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?

A: He was in a mid-life crisis.

If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?

A disorder.

Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.

Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?

I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)

Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?

Me: I have depression, what do you think?!

I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."

Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?

Alps clear the mind! Haha.

Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?

A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)

How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?

Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.

What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.

Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.

I said, "a smile."

They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.

My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.

Going to school is mandatory in this country.

Can you guess my plan?

What do you call two Hispanics with Parkinson's disease?

Maracas.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm!