I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
Bro, if you have anorexia, you have no skin at all.
Why did the fish go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling “eel.”
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
A note for My arts/health teacher:
oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
What do you call a fat downie?
A couch potato.
What do you call a bunch of autistic kids in a box?
A toolbox.
All zodiac signs have their hairstyles. Except cancer.
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics.
I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh
What is Ronaldo's favorite fruit?
Oranges because they have vitamin C.
The doctor had an ego so big, it fell into the ocean fast.
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
I was falling down the stairs at my local clock tower.
I somehow broke more than 206. I broke 342!
