Only profession one could have coronavirus and still goes to work is suicide terrorist.
Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)
They say I'll mess up my insides, but I don't have any.
Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?
Because they take Vitamin See!
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000" But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
Why did the orange go blind? Because he was low on vitamin C.
why did the doctor check out earth? he had a tummy quake
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
Where do cows 🐮 get their medicine 💊?
At the farmacy.
Do this on a calculator.
There was this girl who was (13) but she wanted to be (84) but she was (45) but the dr said (0) he said take these tablets (2x) a day but she took them (4x) a day and she ended up boobless
What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick. What’s invisible and bad for you to breath? Mustard gas. What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste
Why did the OREO go to the dentist?
Because he needed a filling. 😂
So i went to the doctors and the doctor said "Pick a star sign any star sign" So i said "Aquarius" And the doctor said "nah mate you've got cancer"
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling very well!
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.
"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."
Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.
The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.
The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".
please stop using this thread it is cancer
A man once ate the left-side of a person one guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. the man eating him said "No... it's okay he's alright now."
I went to the doctors yesterday I said: when I touch my back it hurts when I touch my knee it hurts when I touch anything it hurts! 😣 what’s wrong with me Doctor: you’ve broken your finger
What's the best way to cure the hiccups? Suicide.
