Health jokes
Why is yo mama so fat? She follows rap boat's diet.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
He had a bad case of CAVITY FLOWS.
Why did the rapper go to therapy?
He had too many BARS he couldn't drop.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To fix his flow.
What do you call a rapper who’s also a DOCTOR?
MC Healer.
Q. What do ghosts do when they get hurt?
A. They call an AmBOOlance.
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
I asked my friend what happened to him?
His balance shifted.
What do you call an Irish person having a seizure? A Shamrock Shake.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.
It’s called Finding Chemo.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.
Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.
Me: Oh, I already tried that.
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
What is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)