Health jokes
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...
Bloody seamen.
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
Why isn't there a ball pit at Taco Bell? Because it's hard to have fun knowing you might poop your pants.
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.
What is a type of cancer that:
Affects you. Is caused by a device. Is annoying. People won't stop talking about it?
Easy, the answer is Fortnite.
Sarcastic Doctor: Tell me.
Guy: I have leukemia in the brain.
Sarcastic Doctor: That doesn't concern me.
I got a great corona virus joke, but you wouldn’t get it.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
How did the other 18 COVIDs go unnoticed?
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.