What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
Health Jokes
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with!
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?
Defective rabies.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off.
Whatâs the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
Yâall can actually see them at all, my toe.
I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."
Why canât kids with cancer have anal sex?
Because they have cancer.
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
Mom: Wake up!
Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...
Mom: Why are you disappointed?
Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...
On April 1st, there was a baby born in the hospital when the doctor, out of sudden, directly takes the baby from the mother and smashes as hard as he can to the wall.
The mother crying and yelling, "What did you do? You killed my Baby!! Why did you kill my Baby?"
The doctor just laughs and says, "April, April, it was already dead."
Hahaha
What type of implants are at a Chinese dentist office? Buck teeth implants.
Suck tiny dick, now you have STD's.
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
What is 1 + 1?
They didnât tell me. Their stomach is upset.
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
