What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
Yo momma so ugly, her blood type is puss.
Son: Daddy,Why this red soup is so much sweet? Because your mother had diabetes
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
"SpaStics on aplastic. Add me on ps4 SpaZZagaZZa54."
Why did the person peel his skin off? Because he wanted to.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack?
Vegetables.
A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Natyourcheese.
Natyourcheese who?
Natyourcheese, I wasn't gonna say bless you!
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
🎉🎇🎊🎆🎈
I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!
