Why did the pumpkin man not go to the party? He had his hand stuck in a treasure chest.
How did Capetian Hook kill himself, he wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
The other day my Girlfriend asked me to hand her, the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt..
The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together !
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
An Emo walked up to a tree, and put his hand up for a high-five. But the tree left him hanging.
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
One day this kid says to his dad."Dad they bully at school.''His dad asks why.And the kid says''They bully me because I got no hands.''Then his dad says.''who would do such a thing like that,I want to know who they are point at them.''
Why were her hands purple? She Heard it Through the Grapevine
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
person with no arms:even tho I have no arms I can do anything you guys can
me:if your happy and you know it clap your hands👏👏if your happy and you know it clap your hands👏👏
person with no arms:😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Why does Sonic wear gloves? Because his hands are cold.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood His hand caught on fire
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid “If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollar how much do you have?” Everyone one raised their hand except one little girl.
Mary had a great big ram his fleece was white as snow when on hands and knees our Mary went his wad was sure to blow
Month by month her belly grew increasing in it's girth and when five months had flown by our Mary did give birth
And Mary had a little lamb a little lamb, a little lamb....
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade. John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.
"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it they can sew it back on."
After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is", handing the ear to John.
"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it."
The cold winter night there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men where gay but they did not know. Fili: Fili. Kili: And Kili. Fili and Kili: At your service. Kili: You must be Mr. Baggins. Bilbo: No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house. Kili: What?! Has it been canceled? Fili: No one told us. Bilbo: Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled. Kili: That’s a relief. Fili: Careful with these, I just had them sharpened. Kili: It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself? Bilbo: Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that? Dwalin: Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand. Kili: Mr. Dwalin. Balin: Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in. Bilbo: Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste! One of the Dwarves: Get off, you big lump!
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. it was a bar seat. they where able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it
