What did the emo say to the popular kid?
"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."
Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
Sup guys, how are you?
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?
What’s a guy with Tourette’s favorite app to use? Tiktok.
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
Nobody:
JFK: :) Hi guys!
JFK's killer: Ayo look at this shit, I just hit a clip.
The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"
Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?
"Like ur cute g."
That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Why were the mushrooms the cool guy at the party? Because he was a fungi.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
