Guy jokes
To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.
Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!
Relatable
The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
Why were the mushrooms the cool guy at the party? Because he was a fungi.
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!