Guy

Guy jokes

Fan

If you are a big fan of me, go to the movie and I kill the bad guys. If you don't, I will be mad and I will be sonic.exe lol.

Scratch

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

Memes

Soda Can

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?

He was lucky it was a soft drink!

Politics

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

Mushroom

When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."

Dick

What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?

Long John Silvers or Captain D's.

Dyslexic

The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."

Model

Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...

Girlfriend

Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”

Human

Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?

Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.

Discrimination

My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”

That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].