Guy jokes

To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.

Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.

"Did you guys make sure Stephen was plugged in?"

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...

When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."

How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!

The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."

What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?

Long John Silvers or Captain D's.

Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.

Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.

What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?

The pizza guy shows up when you call him.

Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.

What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?

Tug of whore.

My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”

That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?

Flip it upside down.

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

What do you call a guy with no body and nose?

No body nose