Guy jokes

What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?

Tug of whore.

Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.

What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?

The pizza guy shows up when you call him.

Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.

Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!

What do you call a rapper who's also a PILOT?

Fly Guy

Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"

Kid named Teacher: *

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!

Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”

Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?

Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

"Did you guys make sure Stephen was plugged in?"

Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.

Need an arch? I Noah guy.

To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.

What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?

Long John Silvers or Captain D's.

How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!

The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."

Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...