Guy

Guy jokes

Butcher

  • "I work with animals," a guy says to his date.

    "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"

    "I'm a butcher," he replies.

    Sex

  • So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

    I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

    Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

    But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

    Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

  • 3
  • Comment

  • 2nd comments from Gwen in her bra.

    Keie: Man Man man! I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    heyo: 👅🍑

    Bari: STOP U FUCKIN PEDOS!!!!!!!!!!

    Kenya Bailey: THAT IS ENOUGH! I AM REPORTING ALL OF THIS CRAP TO THE ADMIN!!!!!!!!!!!

    Remera Karwi: Shut up! We jus tellin her she looks like a star no need for all that "crap".

    Kenya Bailey: One guy put tongue and peach aka butt I know a little bit about oral sex my friend or not!

    Rape

  • What did the guy tired of hearing people joke about rape do?

    He killed everyone on this f#cking website.

  • 8
  • Phone

  • I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.

    I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."

  • 1
  • Orphanage

  • A guy sees a kid crying, and the guy walks up to the kid and asks, "Where are your parents?"

    God, I love working at an orphanage!

    Record

  • Website Records

    Most Likes: https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5aea13992886f22c3e98bd88/why-are-priests-called-father

    Most Dislikes: https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5a6f42308b40a83af3dda515/today-was-a-terrible-day

    Worst Dislike Ratio: https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5b5293efa5535a611745773c/guys-go-ot-httpsworstjokesevercomjokes5b3937c1a328f6072c316bd6hey-guys-who-wants-to-play-roblox-with-me-we-can-go

    Most Comments: https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603e8cd3eccd25122cb21897/guys-lets-make-this-post-have-the-most-comments-on-the-whole-website

    All records are as of March 11th, 2021.

  • 2
  • Gun

  • Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.

    The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.

    The guys show up and the guards shoot them.

    The guys die because the guards used real guns.

  • 0
  • Toe

  • A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.

    Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."

    Guy: "What's the bad news?"

    Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."

    Guy: "Good news?"

    Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."

  • 0
  • Fight

  • OK, guys, quick update, what is going on with Freshfry, Drew, and Alya?

    All they're doing is fighting, and I want to put an end to it. So Freshfry, Drew, and Alya all need to read this, OK. First, Freshfry, you should've just said OK the first thing he said, and Drew... really? You had to keep egging him on. I don't know about Alya, but it's like cats and dogs fighting. Just please stop fighting :(