Gun jokes

What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?

Guns only have one trigger.

I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.

A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"

Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He lost a water gun fight.

An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."

What do you call a group of special ed kids with guns? Special forces.

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.

My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.

"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"

When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.

Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church.

You follow him in, and under their breath, it sounds like somebody says, "You steal." You say in your mind, knowing you have before, "I’m sorry." Then somebody coughs, and under their breath, it sounds like they say again, "You steal," so you whisper quietly, "I’m sorry."

...then somebody in German says, "Schieß den Hurensohn!"

Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.

Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.

Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"

What's an emo's favorite food?

Shot gun ammo.

What were my great grandpa's last words?

"SHIT MG42!!!"

I got shot once. Now I'm holey.

So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."

A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"

A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."

He couldn't shoot straight.

What do Americans call high school?

Shooting range.