Gun jokes
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:
Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.
Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?
Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost a water gun fight.
What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out of the classroom, the only fire they saw was out of a gun.
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.
When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.
I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.