Gun jokes
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,
You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫
What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger gun.
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
What type of gun isn’t allowed in Africa?
A water gun.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
Vegan Teacher the musical.
Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"
Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶
Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵
Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵
Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"
- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.