Gun jokes
What do you call gun ammunition made out of human babies?
Project-childs.
(Projectiles)
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.
What do you call autistic people with guns? Special forces.
What do you call a black man with a gun? A gangsta.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.
Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.
Clear all your debts with one easy payment. Buy a shotgun and blow your head off.
Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?
To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.
What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?
A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?
Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger gun.