Gun jokes

Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.

I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.

Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?

Because that's the average classroom size.

What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.

Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"

She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.

He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"

What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?

A finger gun.

Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,

You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫

What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.

Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

Kid: AK!

Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿‍♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻

"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."

What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?

Reload... chhchhhh.

A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."

He was in the infantry.

There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.

Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.

When you get caught about to shoot up the school,

*slowly puts AR to chin*

Vegan Teacher the musical.

Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"

Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶

Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵

Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵

Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵

Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"

Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"

- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.

When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.

What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?

A water gun...

I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.

Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.