Gun jokes

My wife told me, "Don't buy 1 gun while on your trip," so I decided to buy 2 guns instead.

Why did the boy shoot the clock?

A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.

Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"

What do you call an orphan with a gun?

(No) home shooter.

All people on here, what's your least favorite hunting rifle? Mine's Sako-85.

What do you call someone in a wheelchair with a gun? A rxd.

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

Do I like playing Russian Roulette? Gun to the head, I'd have to say no.

How did the guy rob the water park?

He used a water gun!

LOL 💦🔫💧🌊

There was an enemy with a machine gun.

My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."

So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.

During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.

I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.

Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”

My friend was the only one who laughed.

Murder, murder, suicide by police.

A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.

Did you hear about the bank robber?

Turns out he got shot by the police.

And he wound up in prison.

During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.

He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*

Clear all your debts with one easy payment. Buy a shotgun and blow your head off.

Guns control.

There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:

Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.

Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?

Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Rabid cow.

Rabid cow who?

Hold on, I need to get my gun...

What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?

When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...