Gun Jokes

Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.

Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?

American: Self defense.

Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?

Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"

Girl: "Dude, this is a library."

Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)

A still from a movie shows a man holding a gun to another man's head, with the text above the image reading, "The punishment for trying to commit suicide in North Korea is death." The man holding the gun is labeled, "North Korean govt." and the man with the gun to his head is labeled, "North Korean citizen." The text on the bottom of the image reads, "Drop the gun... or else, I'll shoot."

When the school shooter is about to leave the room, then the autistic kid says, "Goodbye!"

I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.

When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.

What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?

School shooter.

What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?

Special Forces.

Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.

His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."

You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.

What is a school shooter's favorite animal?

A Desert Eagle.

Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!