Gun jokes
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
When the school shooter is about to leave the room, then the autistic kid says, "Goodbye!"
Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.