Gun

Gun jokes

School shooting

15 views ·

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

School

12 views ·

What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.

School Shooter

94 views ·

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

Robbery

48 views ·

Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"

Girl: "Dude, this is a library."

Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)

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  • Problem

    11 views ·

    The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

    Self-defense

    16 views ·

    Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?

    American: Self defense.

    Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?

    Teacher

    31 views ·

    I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.

    Obesity

    14 views ·

    One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

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  • Backpack

    30 views ·

    You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.

    Kid

    32 views ·

    When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

    Bing, bang, boom!

    Pristiano Penaldo

    39 views ·

    I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!