Gun jokes

When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.

What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...

A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.

What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.

A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.

Cashier: Is this your final purchase?

Customer: Actually, yes it is!

Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.

German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.

American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.

African XP farms: Cotton field.

What's the difference between a gun and a penis?

The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.

▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.

Spread the cat gun.

We gotta keep it goin' ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.

Why did the school shooter earn extra points?

Because he was on a kill streak.

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

A B C D E F GUN.

There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!

What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?

"Orange is the new black."

Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?

Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.

When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.