Gun jokes
It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.
My therapist said: "Time heals all wounds."
I shot her, now we wait.
Do I like playing Russian Roulette? Gun to the head, I'd have to say no.
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!
I'm in school shooting. #USA
How did the guy rob the water park?
He used a water gun!
LOL 💦🔫💧🌊
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!
What do you call a black man with a gun? A gangsta.
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special Forces.
This kid lost Kahoot, so he shot up the school.
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.
Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church.
You follow him in, and under their breath, it sounds like somebody says, "You steal." You say in your mind, knowing you have before, "I’m sorry." Then somebody coughs, and under their breath, it sounds like they say again, "You steal," so you whisper quietly, "I’m sorry."
...then somebody in German says, "Schieß den Hurensohn!"
Warning, this is dark.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch? Give 'em a Sandy Hook.