Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns?
The suicide squad.
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌
What's America's no. 1 class?
Target practice.
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.
Why do you play Call of Duty?
I actually don't know.
It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.
My therapist said: "Time heals all wounds."
I shot her, now we wait.
Do I like playing Russian Roulette? Gun to the head, I'd have to say no.
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!
I'm in school shooting. #USA
How did the guy rob the water park?
He used a water gun
LOL 💦🔫💧🌊
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!
What do you call a black man with a gun? A GANGSTA
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
