Group jokes
"Lord of the Rings" is about a group of white Americans taking nine hours to return jewelry.
I hate straight people.
What do you call a group of masturbating cows?
Beef stroganoff.
Gays, blacks, and your maw, mate.
What do you call a group of rappers stuck in traffic?
A cypher circle.
What do you call a group of depressed people?
Sue-icide squad.
What do you call a group of emos?
The Suasied Squid.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
There lived a jackal in a forest. He did not get the day's food, so he was very hungry and wandered throughout the forest, but could not find any food. Finally, he decided to go to the city. As he was walking into the city, he heard some dogs bark. Soon, he found a group of dogs running towards him, so he rushed into a nearby house which belonged to a dyer and fell into a tub filled with blue dye. The dogs that were chasing him returned back as they could not find him. The jackal came out blue from the tub and went into the forest. Every animal in the forest was frightened to see a new animal. The jackal realized that all animals were afraid of him and took advantage of the situation. He called the animals towards him. The jackal said, "Oh my dear friends, I have been sent by gods in heaven to protect you all. I will be the king of this jungle." All the animals became very happy. Everyday they served him food and took care of all his needs. They came to him with all their problems and listened to what their king said. One day as the king jackal was sitting by the court, he heard a pack of jackals howling in the forest. For a long time, he had not heard these voices. He felt very happy, forgetting he was the king, he howled back immediately. All the animals knew who he really was and started chasing him in anger, but the jackal was already on the run.
All of them.
Four big guys.
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
A group of friends went outside to pick up stuff. One of the friends said, "It is windy as heck out!"
All of us.
Everyone at the Queen's funeral:
Me and the boys getting her reboot card.
What do emos and ninjas both have in common? They both hide and cut things.