Group

Group jokes

Emo

  • Why are emo jokes so infamous?

    They cut deep.

    Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?

    Turns out it was just a phase.

    How many emos like anagrams?

    Some.

    What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?

    Emold.

    What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?

    They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.

    What do you call flat-chested emo?

    A cutting board.

    How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Who cares, let them cry in the dark.

    Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?

    It was the Happy Meal.

    Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.

    “Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”

    Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”

    How do you pull an emo from a tree?

    Cut the rope.

    What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?

    They’re both white and flavorless.

    What do emo birds call their mouths?

    Bleaks.

    What do you call an obese emo teen?

    An edgelord.

    Recommended: Fat Jokes

    What do you call a gang of emo kids?

    Suicide Squad.

    How are cats and emos different from one another?

    The cat still has 8 other lives.

    Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?

    They are playing Fruit Ninja.

    What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?

    Sonic the Edgy hog.

    Why would the emo swallow a clock?

    So he could wake up inside.

    Why are Emos still around?

    Because the suffering never ends.

    What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?

    You encourage them.

    What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?

    A toaster.

    What is the favorite game of an emo?

    Hangman.

    Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?

    So it could cut itself.

    A group of friends started an emo salsa band.

    They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.

    What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?

    Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.

  • 1
  • March

  • My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.

    Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"

  • 4
  • Jesus

  • So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.

    On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"

    Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.

    On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"

    Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.

    On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"

    Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"

    Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"

  • 5
  • German

  • How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?

    Answer: 1 to actually change the light bulb and the other 98 to suck each others' cocks and shit like that.

  • 1