Grocery jokes
Yo mamma so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
Lettuce ketchup.
I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
Did you hear about the tomato and the lettuce race?
Well, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."