What store is the most public?
Publix!
My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.
Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?
To get the ice cream for the grandma.
Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."
Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.
He never came back.
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk. (Goes to the store, grabs milk.) As I grab the milk, I thought, "Hey, I bet I can repeat her life twice."
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”
And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.
My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.
Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?
Because every little helps!
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
So Stephen Hawking walked into a grocery store.
Never mind.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
Why do orphans eat cerial without milk? Because thier dad never came home from the store.
If a gay white male with blond hair is a prostitute, you will get $175.00 back for a blowjob if you give him $20.00. If you give a can of sauerkraut to a gay white male that is a prostitute with blonde hair and who is also Polish, you will get the money back that he paid for the can of sauerkraut if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. And if you wanted a blowjob from a gay white male that is a prostitute that is Canadian and Polish with blond hair, you will get the money back he paid for the bottle of maple syrup at the grocery store if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. But if you wanted to fuck him up the ass, he will give you the money back that he paid for the can of Crisco and he will also give you the money back that he paid for the box of condoms and he will give you the change back that he paid for the box of tampons that he paid for his baby sister or you could get a free anonymous blowjob at an adult book store.
