Ariana Grande was in the store, and when she put her groceries on the counter, she said, "Thank you, next!"
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!
My Dad went for some *MILK* , HE NEVER CAME BACK :)
So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
Yo mamma so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.
Grocery stores are like IKEA:you have to assemble the food yourself
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
Lettuce ketchup.
I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
