Grocery jokes

You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.

They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!

You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? 😈😈

Yo mama's so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.

I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.

McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:

cabbage _50

Carrots-50

Cooking fat -100

Onions_20

Tomato-20

salt-10

Total=250

She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.

McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.

His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."

I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?

What did the tomato say to the other tomato?

Why do orphans have water with their cereal?

Because the dad never came back with the cow.

How do you get a discount off groceries?

Scan the emo kid's wrists.

What's an Asian's favorite food place?

Answer: Petco

Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?

What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?

I actually come back with the milk.

What did the tomato say to the tomato ketchup?

I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"

My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.

What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?

While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.

Yo dad's so stupid, he came back with the milk!

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.