My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?
I was at my grandpa's this weekend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes, and when I sent them, my grandpa's phone went off, so he went on his phone, then my girlfriend replied.
Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.
Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."
My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.
I still remember my grandpa's last words: "Turn the lawn mower off!"
My grandpa was amazing. He killed Hitler.
My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa did, not screaming and shouting like his passengers.
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
My Grandpa Has the Heart of a Lion. and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"
Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.
This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
