Government jokes
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!
To anger a Libertarian lie to him, to anger a Democrat tell him the truth, to anger a Republican sodomize him.
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?
Because it was over 18 years old.
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
Memes
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...