Government jokes
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.
When a rocketship went into space, seven astronauts went into space. That's why it's called NASA.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.
Trump, must I say more?
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
"Can we at least give them one credit—for abiding the traffic laws?"
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.
"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.
"Indeed, they are," he was told.
"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
Donald Trump is a good president and not a complete moron.