Government jokes
Why did the black lady give the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds?
Tax credit.
Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!
Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own f**king mask mandate.
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!