Government jokes
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.
“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”
“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
U.S.A: No Queen?
England: No towers?
Only a city council committee would create this mistake.
Put a fucking playground next to a shitty sewer!
Kim Jong-Un thicc af.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?" Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?
A: You're the chairman of the board!
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.
Hitla: That's exactly what I said.
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.
Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.
Why are Americans such good chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?
First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.
JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
Hey, can you Putin deez nuts?
Labor party.
There's nothing I like more than seeing a politician in a nice suit.
An orange jumpsuit that is :)
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!