Government jokes
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
What is similar between Hitler and Trump?
They both want to keep races out.
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!
Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own f**king mask mandate.