Government jokes
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
Memes
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!
Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own f**king mask mandate.
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?
In Washington D.C.
Why is Donald Duck the president? Because Donald Trump has a duck.
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.