Government jokes
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?
Because it is politically motivated.
What is the opposite of Progress?
Congress.
I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
Bro how are my favorite rappers gonna make good music if they can’t pop PERKIES
"myname is president trump i am stupid!!! I am SO STUPID!! AJsifdjsaoifjhdsfoijds"
"Do you know the Annoying Orange?"
"Yeah, they elected him before Biden!"
Hey, do you know why America sucks? We have the death penalty.
What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?
White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!
In America, you find Waldo.
In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds you.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?
To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.
Putin's Brain:
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
In America, you work on a plantation.
In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
Trump said: "Let's make America great again."
Translation by Democrats:
"Let's fake America again."
Trump.
Get it because Trump is a joke hahaha, I am sooo bad!
Hillary Clinton would make a good president.