Government jokes
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?
Because it was over 18 years old.
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
To anger a Libertarian lie to him, to anger a Democrat tell him the truth, to anger a Republican sodomize him.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!
Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own f**king mask mandate.
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!