Government jokes
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!
Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
Memes
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own f**king mask mandate.
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?
Why is Donald Duck the president? Because Donald Trump has a duck.
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?
In Washington D.C.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
He only won the election because of rigging.
82 million votes my ass.
Ask me for proof.
What's Trump's favorite instrument?
A TRUMPet!!!