Government jokes

Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?

Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.

Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?

No, what happened?

He couldn’t stop pootin!

Yo mama is Obama.

Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!

Scientist time travels into the year 2024.

Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?

Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?

What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?

The 2028 US election.

What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.

What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.

President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

Oh well, that's politics.

Biden: See you later, alligator!

Alligator: In a while, pedophile.

If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.

What does NASA say when they don’t want to go in space: Never Access Space Again.

What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?

The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.

NASA is big fat poo 💩 no🍱🍠🥮🧀🍘🧀.

Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!

Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.

Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?

Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.

Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.

Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.

Brother 2: You monster.

Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?

Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.

Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.

Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!

Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.

Brother 1: Found them.

*imaginary mother and brother fade away*

Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.

Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.

Hey, wanna hear a racist joke?

Donald Trump.

Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.

ememe

What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?

"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"

Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"