Government jokes
What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.
Biden: See you later, alligator!
Alligator: In a while, pedophile.
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?
A school shooting.
What does NASA say when they don’t want to go in space: Never Access Space Again.
NASA is big fat poo 💩 no🍱🍠🥮🧀🍘🧀.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
Hey, wanna hear a racist joke?
Donald Trump.
What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?
White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!
Who is king of the pencils?
The ruler!
Make America Great Britain again!
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The KGB.
The KGB wh-?
*slaps* I will ask the questions here.
When a rocketship went into space, seven astronauts went into space. That's why it's called NASA.
Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.
Biden... get it?
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
Nobody:
JFK: :) Hi guys!
JFK's killer: Ayo look at this shit, I just hit a clip.