Government jokes
I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.
I've seen too many of them get elected.
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.
Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!
My bro had siblings who survived they could have helped him at any moment and now we have people around with the last name Hitler.
Donald Trump being president is the biggest joke.
Russia is worse than the USSR.
Russia is just a bonerless USSR.
Bush is innocent, he's white...
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
If Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden are in a boat and it capsizes, who survives? America.
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.
Hillary for president.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
Trump, just why?
What do you call a Deranged Psychotic Woman with a Stupid Hairdo?
Answer: Keri Lake!
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.