Government jokes
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.
If Joe Biden and Kamala Harris jump off a cliff, who survives?
Americans...
If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
In America, you work on a plantation.
In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
Who is Osama Bin Laden’s secret cousin? Barack Obama or Barack Osama Bin Laden?
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
What did Obama ask Trump?
The CCP should be pleased. COVID is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?