Government jokes
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
If Joe Biden and Kamala Harris jump off a cliff, who survives?
Americans...
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.
If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
Memes
I am your leader.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
Who is Osama Bin Laden’s secret cousin? Barack Obama or Barack Osama Bin Laden?
What did Obama ask Trump?
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
In America, you work on a plantation.
In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
The CCP should be pleased. COVID is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.