Government jokes
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.
If Joe Biden and Kamala Harris jump off a cliff, who survives?
Americans...
Memes
If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?
A book has papers.
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.