Government jokes
Kamala Harris is so ugly that Joe Biden is shaking hands with invisible people!
What is the capital of Greece? -- About 10 dollars.
When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.
Why did the orphan rob the bank? Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted.
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
Hitler was a dic-tator.
Hey, I misplaced 2.1 trillion a few days ago, on September 7th, 2001.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
What was the worse purchase America ever made?
Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
What is the opposite of Progress?
Congress.
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.