Good

Good jokes

Pill

  • Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

    So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

  • 1
  • Money

  • Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?

    Because they are really good at saving.

  • 0
  • Pregnancy

  • When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"

  • 0
  • Orphan

  • So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."

  • 1
  • Earth

  • What is the difference between the human rights act and the rights of the earth?

    Human and the earth earth is a good earth 🌎 was that what time do for dinner 🍽 night night love 💗 night night fun day and dinner 🍴 night night fun day home 🏡 night is it a great 👍 home 🏡 was the day I love 💕

    Prank

  • 2019 Senior Prank: Hey fellas, let's black out the school. Haha, we're so sneaky, oh yes!

    2020 Senior Prank: Hey guys, I'm a tech whiz, let's spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha, it'd be so funny and good, even the whole world might fall for it!

    Everyone in December 2020 looks at tech whiz: "...you son of a b*tch!!!"

    Tech whiz: "You guys are the a**holes! I mean you fell for it for a whole year!"

  • 2
  • Pig

  • Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.

    Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

    Class: A cow says mo mo.

    Teacher: Good.

    Teacher: What does a sheep make?

    Class: A sheep says maa maaa.

    Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?

    Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."

  • 0
  • Song

  • Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily. You found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks. Remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world? (Ah-ah-ah-ah) And good for you, I guess that you've been workin' on yourself. I guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped. Now you can be a better man for your brand new girl. Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy, not me. If you ever cared to ask. Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me, baby. God, I wish that I could do that. I've lost my mind, I've spent the night Cryin' on the floor of my bathroom. But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it. But I guess good for you.

    Well, good for you, I guess you're gettin' everything you want (ah). You bought a new car and your career's really takin' off (ah). It's like we never even happened. Baby, what the fuck is up with that? (Ha) And good for you, it's like you never even met me. Remember when you swore to God I was the only Person who ever got you? Well, screw that and screw you. You will never have to hurt the way you know that I do. Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy, not me. If you ever cared to ask. Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me, baby. God, I wish that I could do that. I've lost my mind, I've spent the night Cryin' on the floor of my bathroom. But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it. But I guess good for you.

    Ah-ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah Maybe I'm too emotional But your apathy's like a wound in salt Maybe I'm too emotional Or maybe you never cared at all Maybe I'm too emotional Your apathy is like a wound in salt Maybe I'm too emotional Or maybe you never cared at all Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy, not me. If you ever cared to ask. Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me, baby. Like a damn sociopath. I've lost my mind, I've spent the night Cryin' on the floor of my bathroom. But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it. But I guess good for you.

    Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily.