Good jokes
What is a cow that's good at math good for?
Meat pie.
I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good, he died to a landmine.
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
I did have a good night, and I did a good night, and I had to walk around the house.
Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!
Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!
Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.
In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.