Good Jokes

Why can orphans give all you people posting all these stupid orphan jokes over and over again a good kick in the face?

Well what are you gonna do tell their parents?

ps. Stop posting stupid orphan jokes over and over again.

I blend children to make a good living

There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones

One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up and you could barely unravel it anymore cause I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sisters killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!

(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)

MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?

BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!

MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?

BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!

MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?

BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.

MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.

BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!

(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)

MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!

Man: I'm here for the job interview Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews. Man: Just anywhere? Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right? Man: Yeah that's me. (Shakes hands and sits back down) Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson? Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. it really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir. Employer: I like you already, you're hired! Man: Wow thanks, sir. I know i won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job! Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy. Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade? Employer: No. Man: This... This is a photography job right? Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.

A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital. Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me. But I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheel chair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically ot will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guys says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"

A blind man went to a restaurant.

menu sir? asked the owner. I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order. The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork, and returned to the blind man. The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables. Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!

I asked a <a href="https://chritmis.com/romantic-good-morning-messages/">Chinese girl </a> for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes. When she got the puppy, he was nice. But the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually the parents got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food you know.” The parents only answered with “oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy..he won’t need feeding for years.”

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

My name is Gwen and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing also there getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say pls do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay I want to hear what you say. Just tell if they are not funny. We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying there good and funny or people saying there bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.

In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough. They continued eating for a while. This is really good! the little girl exclaimed. What's this meat! The old lady replied with: well there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping.