Good jokes
What games would deaf people not be good at?
Simon says and Musical chairs.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Charlie.
Charlie who?
Charlie Brown! Good grief!
Good Morning, Sleepy-Head!
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
This is so relatable tho.
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
BULLY vs. QUIET KID
Bully: I bet your dick is as small as a Tic Tac.
Quiet Kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good.
QUIET KID WINS
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
MISSING!!
MISSING!!
Name: Ghostiano Penaldo
Missing: 27/6/2021 vs Belgium
Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".
Last found - Practicing tap ins.
Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parma, Crotone.
Might be dangerous towards good players.
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
Hey guys! Just a reminder that the guy below me is a crying bitch! Have a good day!
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
What is a good nut?
A magic nut!
What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's twenty of them!
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
What’s one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in school zones.
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
I did a walk today, but it was good for Tyler. I was just trying to have a good time to sleep good. I got yyy night and a night.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.