Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry.
Onions was a good dog.
Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you
Students: Eggs
Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you
Kids: Bacon
Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you
Kids: Homework
I was excited my teacher asked my for sex in exchange for a good grade, but then I realized I was homeschooled.
"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."
Why do vegetarians give good head? Beause they’re used to eating nuts.
I finally stopped drinking for good
Now I purely drink for evil
When someone tells me to kill myself
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
Why are blind people so good ad being a jedi? They are always swinging a stick
you
Whats the only good thing about being an orphan? All snacks are family sized!
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one make your whole week.
Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed. But she has to. She's his mom.
Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.
the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.
I hate these double standards.
if you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job" if you do it at home you're "destroying evidence"
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
Know what a 6.9 is? Another good thing screwed up by a period.
The Good Old Days > You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
