Go jokes

Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Wanna go ride a bike?

Why did the orange go blind? Because he was low on vitamin C.

The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"

I told her my mum told me to go to hell.

A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.

The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.

So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.

When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

"Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.

Then it clicked.

"Ah, so that's how you died."

So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."

I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?

Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?

Because he’s a fungi.

Person: I broke my arm in three places.

Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.

I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?

"Did you go to the light show?"

"Yeah, it was lit."

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.

Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.

I said, "a smile."

They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.

My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.

Going to school is mandatory in this country.

Can you guess my plan?

Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.

Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?

They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.

Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.

I made that one up.

Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:

"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"

Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!