Go jokes

So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."

I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?

Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.

What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?

Concentration camp.

I am reading a horror book in braille.

Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!

"Did you go to the light show?"

"Yeah, it was lit."

Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?

Because he’s a fungi.

Person: I broke my arm in three places.

Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.

I made that one up.

"Have you taken a bath?"

"No. Why, did one go missing?"

Why did you go depressed?

Because you’re you.

If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?

The dark.

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.

I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.

Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.

I said, "a smile."

They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.

My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.

Going to school is mandatory in this country.

Can you guess my plan?

Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?

They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.