Go Jokes

Why do pedophiles go to a nursery? Early access

I’m happy to be with my ea when I go to school

why cant you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? because the "p" is silent

I like my women like I like my microwaves Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her

Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said ok class whats behind my back she said its round and red and sally said ooh ooh its an apple and the teacher noo but i like where your going with this so now teacher said it is also used to make multipule things and sally said ooh ooh its a container of paint and the teacher said again noo but i like where your going with this and the teacher said its a ball of yarn as she pulled it out from behind her back then little johnny said ok my turn he said whats in my pocket its round and it has a head and the teacher said thats enough johnny now sit down and little johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said its a nickle but i like where your going with this

So a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on; Doctor: "so your wife she is paralyzed from the neck down" and as the doctor goes he says all the things the man must do for her like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says " why, WHY ME!" Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the mans ear and says " I'm just fuckin with u she's DEAD!"

Jesus and Moses come back to earth. Moses says, let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before. So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before. Jesus quips, close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last. So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him, Moses says, hey it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before.

What did the penis say to the condom??

Cover me in going in

A man is meeting a client in Japan, yet arrives a day early. When night hit he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, yet the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says "What do you mean wrong hole!?"

One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there. Where are the others?

They're in his freezer.

There were 2 guys in an asylum. One name Kenny and the other is Bob. The nurse went down the hall and saw Kenny act like he was packing his bags. Nurse said “What are you doin Kenny?” Kenny said “Going to Florida for the week.” Nurse said “Alright see ya when you get back.” Next day Nurse went down the hall again and saw Kenny laying down acting like he was holding a wine glass. Nurse said “What are you doing Kenny?” Kenny said “I am at the beach” Nurse said “Oh I forgot your in Florida for the week, see ya when you get back” Bob’s room was across the hall. Nurse went further down the hall and saw Bob on his bed jerking off. Nurse said “Goddamnit Bob what are you doing?” Bob said “Shhh, I am fucking Kenny’s wife right now, he is in Florida for the week”

There were three guys stranded on a desert island. Each were granted one wish by a genie that found them. The first guy said "i wish to go back home." The second guy says the same, and the third guy said, "im lonely i wish my friends were back here."

(Jokes for people with cancer) 1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore. 2: I'm dying, finally. 3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then. On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/.

So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink, the bartender says “I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says “alreight so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says “I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says “ so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says”I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says” so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says” ok here you go” so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink

I went for my routine check up last week and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?

**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him ... everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing ... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market ... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?

People say I LIKE UR CUT G. Which is when u get a fresh cut but I guess when u go bald we can say like ur forehead g

I know it’s really really really really really bad

So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you.", in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says "Cool, let me try!", and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says "Superman, you're an asshole."