Go jokes
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?
Me: He could feel it in his bones.
Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!
Heheh ;3
Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.
Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!
Rachel: Alright!
On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.
Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!
This is a classic.
Why did the Dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!
A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video."
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
Where does the Batman go to pee?
The Batroom.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
Yo mama so ugly, she made Kanye West go east.
What do Woody and Hitler have in common?
Their bodies go limp before they get caught.
Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍
I go in the duck park, I make it myself there cozy with Rayman and fruit dwarves.
Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.
I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!
One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."
The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."
Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?
A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?