Go jokes

I spit on an orphan. What is he going to do? Tell his parents?

Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can never find home.

I meant to say, what’s an orphan's least favorite store to go to?

Family Dollar store.

You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.

You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."

Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?

Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.

Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?

One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?

Ground Beef.

One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.

There was a crying pandemic going around.

I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.

A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.

What time does the man go to the bank?

8 AM.

Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.

Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).

Why didn't the child go to school?

Because he died of a heroin overdose.

Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?

Because there wasn’t a ramp.

Where do orphans go to get a happy meal?

Orph-Donald's.

Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.

The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”

As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.

Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?

Microsoft.

If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,

that's a big red flag!

The orphanage said I couldn't go home.

Your dad is gone.

Why can't white people go to Blackpool? Cuz they're not black.

So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.

Why am I so successful?

When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.

"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.

The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.

"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"

"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.

The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.

"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.

What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?