Go jokes
If Tim goes to heaven and Tom goes to hell, where does Tam go?
Up your ass.
What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
"Let's go Brandon!"
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
If you're going to be a smart ass, you have to be smart, or you're just an ass.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
Go touch some grass, bro.
Geowipp Grand Prize. And the CHOICE OF FOOD IS INSANE. We love him and we love him.
August is a guy from one of the shops, and we became a sundwich durk through Habin. We have GOT GO GO, IT WAS GRAT. That's why. But we don't do everything.
I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.