Go

Go jokes

Doctor

    • Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."

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    • Dad

    • I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

    Lollipop

    • Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.

    Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.

    Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.

    Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.

    Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you.

    Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.

    Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.

    Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren’t.

    I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.

    Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.

    Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.

    I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I hope it’s you.

    Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.

    Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.

    Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.

    Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between.

    Are you a blanket? Because you’re on top of me every night.

    Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.

    Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.

    I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.

    Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.

    Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.

    Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.

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    • Go memes

    Knock

    • Pete: Knock, knock...

    Paul: Who's there?

    Pete: Boo...

    Paul: Boo who?

    Pete: Don't cry, it was only a joke!

    Paul: I'm going to cry! It was such a bad joke!!!

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    • Rhino

    • Here's some of my weird jokes:

    What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.

    Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.

    Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.

    Idiot

    • I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

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    • Fish

    • Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."

    She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."

    Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"

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    • Pilot

    • pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

    passengers: *start freaking out*

    pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

    passengers: *sigh with relief*

    pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.

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