Go jokes

Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.

One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.

God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven.

Hitler: Kills himself.

Why do nuns go around in pairs?

So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!

What do sperm say while just in?

"We need to go deeper."

Where do you go if you lost a pencil?

Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.

NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.

This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.

"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.

The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.

"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"

"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.

The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.

"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.

What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?

What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.

What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.

What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.

Why did the fish go to the doctor?

Because he was feeling “eel.”

Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?

IHOP

Where did Alice go during the explosion?

Everywhere.

Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"

Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.

Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?

Because there wasn’t a ramp.

Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.

Mom: OMG, why son?

Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.

Think about it, then spread LMAO.

Why are most West Virginians going to hell?

Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.

Asian conversation:

Person 1: Ni hao, how's it going?

Person 2: Konnichiwa, what's up?

Person 1: I've bing chilling.

What happened when a kid bullied an orphan?

The orphan said, "I’m going to tell my mom!"

Bully: "I wanna see your mom!"

Narrator: At that moment, he knew he messed up.

This was my friend's joke he wanted me to post;)

Why did the rapper go to school?

To improve his FLOW-CULUS.