Go jokes
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To drop some FLOW-TIDE!
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his bark tracks!
Why did the rapper go to school?
To learn his ABCs (All 'Bout Cash)!
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.
My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.
Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.
Gay people when the GPS asks them to go straight.
Lesbians when the GPS asks them to go straight.
Once I got one so big, they were going to make 9/11 2.0!
Git is going to let Bill Cosby out of jail. Oh wait, he watched Little Bill.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
Yo hairline so ugly, when you go to school you fall on a line.
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"
Orphan: I'm hungry.
Dad: Let's go to KFC.
Orphan 2: Boy, you don't got a dad!
What did Rob O'Neill say before he shot Osama Bin Laden between the eyes?
"Go to HELLakbar!"
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*