Go jokes
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
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Why didn't the orphan go home?
Because he didn't have a home.
Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?
You: What?
Me: She let it go, let it go!
You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.
All I have to do is go to the Africa section.
What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?
One didn't go in the closet.
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
What is the best way to make a leaf?
Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!
I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.
My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating.