Go jokes
I was going to listen to a funny comment about abortion, but her joke was crap.
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?
If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.
Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.
Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."
At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."
I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
Yo momma so ugly, the Devil started going to church!
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
I played catch with my friends, but they keep going to sleep when I throw it.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.
Orphan: Go on then.
Me: Your family tree.
Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.
Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.
Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.
Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.
Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!
What college can Stephen Hawking not go to? Spelman University.
Why did your father go away?
'Cause he needs da milk.
Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.
Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?
It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.