Go

Go jokes

Pedophile

    • I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

    "But why?" I replied.

    "Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

    "That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

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    • Jew

    • A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."

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    • Daughter

    • Dad: How was your trip to the park?

    Daughter: It was good until the man came along.

    Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?

    Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...

    Dad: Oh God, what next?

    Daughter: Nothing, that was it.

    Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!

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    • Go memes

    Humour

    • Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.

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    • Sentence

    • One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”

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    • Idiot

    • The village people said that they need their idiot back; you better get going!

    Street

    • Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.

    Poo

    • You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.

    They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!

    You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? 😈😈

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    • Drunk man

    • A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"

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    • Orphan

    • Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

    Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

    Skeleton

    • Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

    Papyrus: Because they looked like me?

    Sans: ... Sure.

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    • Handjobs

    • A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."

    He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"

    She says, "Yes, I am."

    He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."

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