Go jokes

What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.

What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"

I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.

As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.

Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.

You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.

Why did Ronald McDonald go to KFC to destroy them?

Why did the plane go to KFC?

To lose its wings and crash!

Orphan: I'm hungry.

Dad: Let's go to KFC.

Orphan 2: Boy, you don't got a dad!

What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.

Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.

What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.

Why did the rapper go to the optometrist?

Because he needed to improve his RAP VISION.

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

“Life is going swimmingly,”

“Tell that to Whitney Houston.”

In the Robocide, Explain Bear is the first to go.

I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.

Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.

And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said, "You should be proud of your sister." I asked why. They told me it was the best that they ever had, and we got your sister a trophy.

So I went home, my sister said, "Look at my trophy I earned." The trophy said "The Best Blow Jobs." As a bro, I couldn’t be more prouder.

As a son, I set up a home date with my mom and my friend because I was going out of town. I set it up by telling my friend that my mom thinks he is cute, and I told my mom that my friend thinks that she is hot.

I came home the next day. I see in the living room my friend giving it to my mom doggy style. I ask what's going on. My mom said to me, "Meet your new daddy," then my friend said, "Hey son, get me a beer from the fridge."