Yo momma's decided to go to KFC, until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and cashier said ''here is the reciept'' now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spended more than drakes net worth that he can even lend, she went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food, by the second they see the plates empty, and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.
When i was going downstairs Sum Ting Wong fell and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened
Hey let’s go we are heading for theTowers!
Wait what?
call 911!
Once I got one so big they were going to make 9/11 2.0
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure. One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four.
What animal can jump the highest
Emo kids because once they go up they never come back
Are you getting tired of life yes then call 180 go fuck yourself its not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself its not our problem.com
I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...
Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.
-a beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide-
a homeless man walks by her and says "what are you doing?"
she says "im going to jump"
the homeless man says "if youre going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
the woman replies "no way creep! never that!"
the homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says
"thats fine, I'll just wait til you're at the bottom"
asian conversation: Person 1: Ni how's it going? Person 2: konnichi what's up? Person 1: ive bing chilin
31. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento" When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
32. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance. "See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow. The second crows takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it." "How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow. "Look at it's hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.
33. Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish. “I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish. “I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home. “I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here."
34. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. “Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?” “I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”
35. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.
36. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."
Why do orphans like to go to church? So they have someone to call father. If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?
Why am I so successful,?
When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option..
why can't white people go to blackpool? cuz they're not black
Use this roast.
Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes. When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
What was going through the head off a 9/11 victim on the 88th floor
The 89th floor
Wanna see an mistake go on camera and take an pic of you
lesbians when the GPS ask them to go straight
me: the last time I used DUOLINGO was WHEN THE DINOSAURS WENT EXTINCT.
duolingo: lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
gay people when the GPS ask them to go straight