Go jokes
Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar.
“May I smoke a cigar?” asks Johnny.
The grandpa replies, “Well, does your dick touch your asshole?”
Johnny replied, “No,” and left the room.
The next day Johnny sees his grandpa getting into a car.
“Can I drive the car?” asks Johnny.
“Does your dick touch your asshole?”
“No.”
The day after that, Grandpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie.
“Johnny, may I have some of your cookie?” asked the grandpa.
“Does your dick touch your asshole, grandpa?”
“Yep.”
“Then go fuck yourself, this is my cookie.”
Why was the skeleton sad at the dance?
Because it had "no body" to go with.
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Going in a military.
The last thing I heard from them is: "Goodbye!"
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
What do you call Stephen Hawking going fast?
Hot Wheels.
Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.
What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?
"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."
Trashy pig woman: "Why?"
Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.