Go jokes
Why did the baseball player go to jail?
Because he stole first base.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Once you go Asian, you can solve the equation.
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
Why did Stephen Hawking go out in the rain?
3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.
The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
Let's tell a secret about each other... I'll go first.
I
hate
you!
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
A man was taking a young child into the woods.
The young child said, "Mister, it's getting dark and I'm scared."
The man replied with, "How do you think I feel? I have to go back alone."
Grove Christian School is a great school in Richmond, Virginia. I recommend that you go there.
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.