Go jokes
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."
If depression is going to be my girlfriend, will she leave me?
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
What’s the cow's favorite place to go? The moovies!
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
I was going to tell you a joke about paper, but it was too TEAR-ABLE. HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
Go fuck yourself!
Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
Why did the vegetable go to jail?
He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
Your career might be in the north, but it's going south :)
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.