Go

Go jokes

World

    • Why did half of the world go to hell?

    Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.

    (You've been warned!)

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    Baby

    • When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."

    Surgeon

    • A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery.

    boss: "We have to let you go."

    surgeon: "I protest innocence."

    boss: "How?"

    surgeon: "I thought doing your job and saving people's lives were two different things."

    boss: "Get out!"

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    • Firework

    • How do you start a dance party?

    Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.

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    Whale

    • Two whales went to a bar.

    The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh." The second whale said, "Greg, I think you're drunk, let's go home."

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    Teacher

    • Teacher: What’s 2+2?

    Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh

    Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.

    Church

    • Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?

    Because it was a good source of mussel mass!

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    Scale

    • My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.

    So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.

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    • Year

    • 10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!

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    Skeleton

    • Joker: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?

    Person: Because he felt it in his bones?

    Joker: He read the weather forecast, you f*cking idiot.

    School

    • This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.

    1. Pencils

    2. Binders

    3. Paper

    4. Pencil sharpener.

    What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?

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