Go jokes

Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?

Allah's snackbar!

An e-girl went to go high five a tree, but the tree left her hanging.

Did you hear about the racist sprinkler?

It kept going: "Spick spick spick Chink chink chink!"

Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?

Because it got pissed off!

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"

One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!

If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.

Why did Gwen go to the store? To have a new.

"What do you do with your free time?"

"I stalk."

"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."

"I know."

So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"

The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"

What did South Korea say to North Korea? Go read a book!

I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that’s just nuts.

Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.

This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.

"Look at these kids stealing ideas, bro. They're going to jail."

Why is there a middle school?

Because the kids that go there are middle class families.

I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.

Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂

Why'd Susie go down the slide too fast?

Because her wheelchair was good.

What what's the cloud private place to go? Among us, cows.

Why did the orphan go to the woods? To take a *what*?